this is especially true – and more difficult to control, I think – when you (the literal you here) have a very public presence.

Even worse is when I hear new employees of a company use second- or third-person (“you” or “they”) to refer to the company. It creates a wall between them and the team. I’m amazed how often I hear it — especially during the first few months of an employee’s tenure.

Bush on capture of Saddam Hussein;

The success of yesterday’s mission is a tribute to our men and women now serving in Iraq. The operation was based on the superb work of intelligence analysts who found the dictator’s footprints in a vast country. The operation was carried out with skill and precision by a brave fighting force. Our servicemen and women and our coalition allies have faced many dangers in the hunt for members of the fallen regime, and in their effort to bring hope and freedom to the Iraqi people. Their work continues, and so do the risks. Today, on behalf of the nation, I thank the members of our Armed Forces and I congratulate ‘em.

Obama on killing of Bin Laden:

And so shortly after taking office, I directed Leon Panetta, the director of the CIA, to make the killing or capture of bin Laden the top priority of our war against al Qaeda, even as we continued our broader efforts to disrupt, dismantle, and defeat his network.

Then, last August, after years of painstaking work by our intelligence community, I was briefed on a possible lead to bin Laden. It was far from certain, and it took many months to run this thread to ground. I met repeatedly with my national security team as we developed more information about the possibility that we had located bin Laden hiding within a compound deep inside of Pakistan. And finally, last week, I determined that we had enough intelligence to take action, and authorized an operation to get Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice.

Today, at my direction, the United States launched a targeted operation against that compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan. A small team of Americans carried out the operation with extraordinary courage and capability. No Americans were harmed. They took care to avoid civilian casualties. After a firefight, they killed Osama bin Laden and took custody of his body.

As a leader of a team / group / company, you are the official representative of that group of people. When you are communicating on behalf of the team, the use of “We” is kind of required.

At the same time one has certain responsibilities as an individual within the team / group / company. A certain role to play. In my mind, And communication that pertains communicate those responsibilities, the use of “I” could be preferred. E.g. managing the team, expectations, hiring etc.

There’s no I in team but there’s an M and an E and that spells ME. Just kidding. I agree.

Interesting to hear this story, this is especially true when providing client services.

As a member of a consulting team, everything someone does reflects upon the group. When Joe writes code that causes a bug (did QA not see it? was it not properly spec’d and approved up front?) “we” dropped the ball. If I was the one who logged in and fixed that bug, “we” resolved this issue (having revisited our documentation, learning about it from someone else, knowing based an experience shared within the team, etc.).

“We” screwed up and “I” am sorry, this is how “we” will fix it.

“We” built this feature and “I” am excited to share it with you.

You’re gonna love this… from NPR, and how using the word “I” detracts from you power over others. Heres the most potent and relevant quote from it:

Pennebaker has counted words to better understand lots of things. He’s looked at lying, at leadership, at who will recover from trauma.But some of his most interesting work has to do with power dynamics. He says that by analyzing language you can easily tell who among two people has power in a relationship, and their relative social status.”It’s amazingly simple,” Pennebaker says, “Listen to the relative use of the word “I.”What you find is completely different from what most people would think. The person with the higher status uses the word “I” less.To demonstrate this Pennebaker pointed to some of his own email, a batch written long before he began studying status.First he shares an email written by one of his undergraduate students, a woman named Pam:Dear Dr. Pennebaker:I was part of your Introductory Psychology class last semester. I have enjoyed your lectures and I’velearned so much. I received an email from you about doing some research with you. Would there be a time for me to come by and talk about this?PamNow consider Pennebaker’s response:Dear Pam -This would be great. This week isn’t good because of a trip. How about next Tuesday between 9 and 10:30. It will be good to see you.Jamie PennebakerPam, the lowly undergraduate used “I” many times, while Pennebaker didn’t use it at all.Now consider this email Pennebaker wrote to a famous professor.Dear Famous Professor:The reason I’m writing is that I’m helping to put together a conference on [a particular topic]. I have been contacting a large group of people and many have specifically asked if you were attending. Iwould absolutely love it if you could come… I really hope you can make it.Jamie PennebakerAnd the return email from famous professor:Dear Jamie -
Good to hear from you. Congratulations on the conference. The idea of a reunion is a nice one …and the conference idea will provide us with a semi-formal way of catching up with one another’s current research… Isn’t there any way to get the university to dig up a few thousand dollars to defray travel expenses for the conference?With all best regards,Famous ProfessorPennebaker says that when he encountered these emails he was shocked to find that he himself obeyed this rule. He says he thought of himself as a very egalitarian person, and assumed he would never talk to people differently because of their status.http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2012/04/30/151550273/to-predict-dating-success-the-secrets-in-the-pronouns

When it comes to my website, even if I’m the only one currently working on it, when I do customer service emails I often say “we” — whether that’s to sound like the site is bigger than it actually is at the moment or that it’s a team effort of some kind. I have had outside help, so I still consider it a “we” endeavor.