Comments on: Don’t Ask For A Referral If I Say No

By: Eric Norlin

Eric Norlin — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:10:15 +0000

let me just say that hearing "No" from Brad might turn into something you weren't expecting at a later date. I first met Brad when Andre Durand and I pitched him on funding Ping Identity (http://www.pingidentity.com). He said no. We moved on and got funding.

now, years later, we work together around Defrag (http://www.defragcon.com) — but "no" was the beginning of our "relationship."

By: Phil Michaelson

Phil Michaelson — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:26:39 +0000

So, you're saying you won't privately "sell" a company while publicly "promoting" that company? Makes a lot of sense

By: Brad Feld

Brad Feld — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:04:07 +0000

Interesting idea, although I’m happy to response to the request for referrals with this email (part of the reason I wrote the email was so that I could write one sentence with a link). I guess if all of a sudden every “no” came with a request for a referral I’d have to refer to something like this.

By: Brad Feld

Brad Feld — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:02:04 +0000

Glad I was polite and at least a little helpful!

By: Ran Margalit

Ran Margalit — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 02:56:11 +0000

I have to say that I pitched an idea I had to Brad. He does not know me personally, and I did not expect much. I got the usual no like most of the people, and I did ask to where to turn.
Brad game me a list of options for me but, sure, no personal recommendation. I did not expect one.
I am very glad from the response that I got and of course, I'll be happy for you to invest in me

By: Brandon K

Brandon K — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 02:21:09 +0000

Interesting. I had several VC’s who said my company was too early for them, and then proceeded to introduce me to great angels who invested. I always tell other entrpreneurs to do the same if their deal is more angel-oriented.

By: @TheFCJournal

@TheFCJournal — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 01:57:53 +0000

I know you and others in the VC industry do not have much time for each person with a pitch. Would a rejection email with a paragraph explaining why by policy you will not provide referrals deter a lot of second emails? Something as simple as, "Please don’t respond and ask me to refer you to someone. You don’t really want me to do this. By referring you to someone else, at some level I am implicitly endorsing you. I am not interested in exploring funding your deal and the person I refer you to will immediately ask me why I am not interested in funding your deal. You may have more success approaching others without my involvement." (Sorry if I butchered your words.)
Simply pasting this into your rejections could eliminate a second email from most business-people who have been trained to not take "no" for an answer.

By: Brandon K

Brandon K — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 01:47:40 +0000

By: Brad Feld

Brad Feld — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 00:59:05 +0000

That’s an interesting hypothesis. I’m not sure I’ve noticed it more recently – I guess it’s always been part of the landscape for me. It doesn’t bother me at all and I often get gracious replies from folks saying “they understand” when I send them a link to this post in response for their request to a referral (although they might be saying “I understand, but go screw yourself.”) Occasionally someone just keeps after it but that’s the edge case.

By: Ian Greenleigh

Ian Greenleigh — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 00:54:13 +0000

I wonder about this type of behavior (asking for referrals / asking for too much in general) quite often. Have we seen an increase in the last few years of people taking advantage of another's openness and/or kindness? Seems to me that, unfortunately, being trying to stay accessible and helpful after enjoying some measure of success is increasingly a losing proposition. Not that I'd know from experience–I'm not yet successful. Rather, I cringe when I see people asking for things like notes on screenplays, a free plug or a personal endorsement from someone whom they barely know. If I were in your position, I can only hope that I would have as much tact and patience in dealing with such attitudes of entitlement.