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Hi, I’m Brad Feld, a managing director at the Foundry Group who lives in Boulder, Colorado. I invest in software and Internet companies around the US, run marathons and read a lot.

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Jewish Mothers

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I love my mother – she’s the best mother I’ve ever had.  One of her most endearing traits is that she is a jewish mother.  If you don’t know what I mean, here are some examples from history.

MONA LISA’S JEWISH MOTHER: “After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile?”

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS’ JEWISH MOTHER: “I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you didn’t call, you didn’t write.”

MICHELANGELO’S JEWISH MOTHER: “A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?”

NAPOLEON’S JEWISH MOTHER: “You’re not hiding your report card? Show me! Take your hand out of your jacket and show me!”

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S JEWISH MOTHER: “Again with that hat! Why can’t you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S JEWISH MOTHER: “Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!


THOMAS EDISON’S JEWISH MOTHER: “Okay, so I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!”


PAUL REVERE’S JEWISH MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is long past your bedtime!”


ALBERT EINSTEIN’S JEWISH MOTHER: “Your senior photograph and you couldn’t have done something with your hair?”


MOSES’ JEWISH MOTHER: “Desert, schmesert!! Where have you really been for the last forty years?”


BILL GATES’ JEWISH MOTHER: “It would have killed you to become a doctor?”


BILL CLINTON’S JEWISH MOTHER: “Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl, that Monica!”


Mom – love ya! (Greg – thx.)

  • sigma

    Any Son’s Jewish Mother: A Jewish mother gives her son two shirts for his birthday. The first time he wears one she asks, “The other one you didn’t like?”.

  • http://www.leafar.eu leafar

    Brilliant !

  • http://sco.tt Scott Yates

    My fave: How many JMs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None. “You go out with your friends; have a nice time. I’ll just sit here in the dark. I’ll be fine.”

  • http://www.kabbalah-hasulam.co.il kaballah

    Just that is necessary, I will participate. Together we can come to a right answer.

  • Sandy

    I love it!

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