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Hi, I’m Brad Feld, a managing director at the Foundry Group who lives in Boulder, Colorado. I invest in software and Internet companies around the US, run marathons and read a lot.

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Pop Ups and Spam

One Comment

Who said lawyers aren’t creative?  Come on – it was at least one of you out there.  Last night at the Kidstek 6th Annual Tech Leader’s Dinner, each of the 13 tables had to do a “skit” that had something to do with kids, technology, and marine stuff (since the event was at the Denver Aquarium.)  My friends from Cooley Godward Kronish sponsored a table and Michael Stack and Sean Arend presented the poem “Pop Ups and Spam” read to the tempo of Theodor Geisel’s “Green Eggs and Ham.”)

That Spam-I-am!
That Spam-I-am!
I do not like
that Spam-I-am!

Do you like pop ups and spam?

I do not like them, Spam-I-am.
I do not like pop ups and spam.

Would you like them here or there?

I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere.
I do not like pop ups and spam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-am.

Would you like them on your screen?
Do you delete them with your mouse?

I do not like them on my screen.
I do delete them with my mouse.
I do not like pop ups and spam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-am.

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like dinner at Chilis’s for free!

I would not, could not eat for free.
Nor buy a car! You let me be.
I do not need a new home loan.
I do not need a new cell phone.
I am not looking for romance.
I do not need to be enhanced.
I do not like pop ups and spam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-am.

Not on my screen or Blackberry
Or from an off-shore pharmacy
I do not need a free plane fare.
I do not need to dye my hair.
I do not need a credit card.
I do not need to melt my lard.
I do not like pop ups and spam.
I do not like them, Spam-I-am.

I would not, could not, buy that stock.
Not in the dark. Not on a rock.
Nor buy a car. You let me be.
I do not like them, Spam, you see.

You do not like pop ups and spam?

I do not like them, Spam-I-am.

You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

Spam!
If you will let me be, I will try them.
You will see.

Say!
I like pop ups and spam!
I do! I like them, Spam-I-am!
And I am looking for romance.
And I would love to be enhanced.
I sure do need a credit card.
And purple pills and melted lard.
And I will get a new home loan.
And I will buy six new cell phones.

And I will view them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And on my screen and Blackberry.
They are so good, so good, you see!

And I will view them here and there.
Say! I will view them ANYWHERE!

I do so like
pop ups and spam!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Spam-I-am!

I recommend you print this out, go find a nerd friend, and read this to him / her out loud.  Michael / Sean – this is brilliant.  I hope you billed someone other than me for the time you spent on this.

  • Wendy

    I passed this on to some of my geeky IT friends. Thanks from everyone for the laughs.

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