Stupid Lawyer Tricks

My partner Jason Mendelson (an ex-lawyer) has a dynamite post up titled Quick Ways To Get Fired as a LawyerWhile some of my best friends are lawyers (or ex-lawyers), I’ve encountered most of the stupid lawyer tricks that Jason enumerates in his post. 

The big ones (immediate termination) are:

  1. Screw around with redlines.
  2. Endorse the chief competitor.
  3. You provide little leadership and wait for someone else to come up with the answer.
  4. You provide advice to the CEO adverse to the company’s interest. 

The medium ones (you’ll lose us over time) are:

  1. Be lax in your advice and get it wrong. 
  2. Being inefficient, getting lost in the woods, billing for small stuff that doesn’t matter.
  3. Bait and switch.  You bring in the client, but you never show for board meetings, phone calls, etc. and send junior folks in your stead.
  4. Not knowing who your client is.
  5. Letting summer associates run wild on the account. 

But my favorite is “Being annoying.”  Jason enumerates these in more detail – if you are an entrepreneur or a lawyer the post is worth a close read.  If you are a comedian, it’s probably worth it also as you’ll get more ammunition for your standup routine.

  • Thanks for highlighting Jason's post I wouldn't have come across it otherwise.

    I think the Annoying point is universal. Don't be annoying is pretty good advice for everyone not looking to get fired.

    Onto the original post.

  • Norris Krueger

    LOL – but it also applies to any professional (or in this case, *allegedly* professional, lol) providing ongoing services. My best consulting gig ever came to me because of the prior person managed to hit at least 3 of Jason's list.

    p.s. I would amend "don't be annoying" to "don't be annoying except when it's necessary to save the firm." Sometimes it is your job to be annoying (ex ante).

  • Thanks for pointing out the post. I too never would have come across it and he does make excellent points. And I can't tell you how many times I have caught lawyers doctoring the redlines. It is deplorable.

  • Brad, what do you mean by "screwing around with redlines." Do you mean a lawyer is sending a draft to the other side and a change has been made but is not redlined but the other side is expecting that the change will be marked as a change?

    James Mitchell

  • "Not knowing who your client is." is my favorite. It can still be applied to any occupation, not just a lawyer.

    Henry The Sixth said "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers" LoL

  • Nice airtical, i would like to tell all of my friends about it. By the way, i would like to introduce everyone of you a very nice website, it offers cheap air max trainers for men and women. Such as Air max 1, air max 2, air max 90, nike air max 2009+, air max 2010 new, nike air max TN, nike air ltd trainers, air max 95. Dunk SB shoes, nike shox shoes. You can find almost all the nike series there, in huge collection and varies colorways. They have Latest style and classic style. Though their price are low, don't worry about it's quality. They are realll ones!!! I have bought from them for so many times, and very satisfied with the their goods and service. Come on, you'll love it.

  • Ah, thanks! This settled up some confusion I've heard.

  • This article is very interesting. Thank you very much for sharing .

  • Pingback: the kite runner audio book()