Fat Credits

On the heals of G.E. Unveil[ing] Credit Card Aimed at Relieving Carbon Footprints I’m looking for someone that is willing to sell me some fat credits. 

I’m running the San Francisco Marathon on Sunday on a whim to hang out with my running buddy Katherine McIntyre as well as to give her someone’s ass to thoroughly kick.  I wasn’t planning on running marathon #9 until October when I have one planning in Bar Harbor, Maine, but I’ve had a good stretch of long runs the past two months and feel like it’ll be relatively easy to crank out a marathon at sea level (where “relatively easy” means “only a moderate amount of ridiculous pain – emotional and physical – during the last six miles.”)

However, I’m a little heavier than I want to be.  I had a goal of being around 190 for the Bar Harbor Marathon but I’m hanging around between 210 and 215.  Anyone that has ever run 26.2 miles knows that dragging around an extra 20 pounds is – well – a drag.

So – I’m looking to buy some fat credits.  I only need 20 pounds worth and I’m willing to pay via cash or paypal.  I’m interested in a good price, so if I’m not happy with what I find, I might do a reverse auction or even see if I can pick up some cheap on the Fat Exchange – European Division (FEED).

I’ve also got some Cynical Credits for sale today.

  • I can’t help you with the fat credits, but I do have some ideas that I think may help stop continental drift. Of course, I can’t discuss my ideas without an NDA.

  • fewquid

    If you find a market for those Cynical Credits, let me know. I’ve got strong inventory and will pay an agressive rate of commission to get them moved 🙂

  • I recently lost about 20 pounds after an appendectomy. It looks like you found it! Can I have it back?

  • I’ll lose 10 lbs at $1 a pop for you, Brad. Only thing is: you don’t get to weigh me….sound like carbon credits yet?

  • nicole glaros

    According to this recent study, maybe you’re hanging out with fat friends?


    Somebody pass the Lays.

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