Brad Feld

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Candy Bar Sex

Dec 23, 2005

The Internet (and the candy industry) is always good for a little sex.

It was another PayDay and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar.  Then, I saw Miss Hershey throwing me Kisses on the corner of Clark and 5th Avenue.  In no time I pulled out my Whoppers and began feeling her Mounds with my Butterfinger.  “Hey, how’d you like to Crunch on my Tootsie Rolls?”, I asked.  Well, she did and it felt like pure Almond Joy.  Then, I let her have my Choco Taco.  She let out little Snickers and moaned,” Oh Henry it feels Good & Plenty.  Even better than the 3Musketeers.  Oh, those beautiful Sugar Babies!”  She asked if I was into M&Ms.  I said, “Why don’t you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it in your Bit-O-Honey and feel my MilkyWay?”  Hey, I know men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but soon she began to get a little bit Chunky and nine months later out came Baby Ruth.

Thanks Chris (and Chris’ dad Martin).