Thank God I Don’t Have Kids

I don’t have to deal with this shit.  If I had a kid, he’d sound like Oskar in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close: “Succostash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake!”  Or maybe my non-existent son (or daughter) would regularly say “Hey Dad – go shit in a fucking hat.”

Thanks Steve.  And Dad – thanks for teaching me how to swear like a Texan.

  • L. Maria Long

    I was Word Processing Operator, II worked for Oklahoma Children’s Hospital in (Child Study Center.) But it was all doctors women and very few men. I have heard a lot of men do not want any children until my ex-husband went to college and became bachleor with other woman and left me when I was 27 years of age. Right now, I’m 59 years of age! Goes by very fast. It was hard to find the right man who I love but I still have long, long time old boyfriend who lives in OKC area, while I moved to Watonga, OK in 6 yrs. ago.
    Thank you. LML

  • Joe

    Yeah, I second that. Thank God I don’t have kids either. I can’t afford them. In fact, I can’t even afford myself. It’s tough out there. Society expects us to breed children, but doesn’t want to give us any support to raise them. I don’t see how anyone can do it unless they are born rich, are a doctor, lawyer or sports celebrity. No thanks. And it’s not because I dislike them. It’s economic. I like some kids, but it’s out of my reach. Maybe one day it’s in my future, but sure as heck not now.

  • Tammy

    I used to want kids until I read a book shortly after getting married called ‘The Baby Trap’ in the 70s by Ellen Peck. I read it twice and afterwards, I decided she was right! I’ve never regretted not having kids one bit! Children are expensive and if it takes two to make a living, who’s raising the children? It’s showing that there are many two-income households since the kids have no manners. It’s all about daycare and babysitters. No thanks I can’t miss what I’ve never had! My marriage ended shortly after it began and I continue to be happily single and wonderfully ‘child-free’, my car’s paid for and I only have my mortgage! Glad I didn’t fall into the Baby Trap like many of the others when the ‘gullibles’ fell for the “you can have it all, a career and a family too” garbage! Who is pushing mommyhood – PARUNTS, of course. Gurls grow up glassy-eyed thinking, I’ll just have a baby, that’ll make him love me. I just gotta have a baby. When nothing could be further from the truth. Now that many parents are divorced, those gullibles are truly finding that they really do “have it all”! Better them than me!

  • Kelly

    I feel sorry for the disgruntled adults who think that being a parent is a trap. The love I feel for my 10 month old son is a love I could never explain and/or never felt in my life. My husband and I are closer and our love has two-folded. We are kids again. Loving life and seeing everything for the first time again. My life has not become a ‘Baby Trap’, in fact it has freed me from the hustle and bustle of adulthood. Granted I have major responsibilities but I do not regret a thing. My husband and I decided to make sacrifices and I do not work. We are making it work and being creative.
    My point to this whole response is I think a lot of you are sour for losing your spouses to divorce and you are really missing out on TRUE LOVE that comes from nothing else but a baby. Sorry you feel the way you do.

  • Tammy

    Kelly, my mother died when I was a small child, my dad remarried a woman who had a daughter 18 months older than I. She showed preference to her, leaving me, a first born (of 2) out in the cold. Needless to say, mine was not a happy childhood since my mother’s death. I decided that I wouldn’t make a good mother (whatever that means) and I have no regrets. Others hate me, are jealous since I am a brat-free single and free to do as I please. No I’m not bitter over my divorce, I didn’t, and still don’t want to be, married.

  • Jason

    This 37 year old male, never married, no brats, has dated and continues to date sexy single women. Coming home to a nice quiet home, with three cars in the driveway and NO DRAMA, is heaven! I can’t imagine sharing my bed or my space, much less changing a shitty diaper! GROSS! Have fun parents – see you in Rome, London, or maybe Paris… oops, sorry forgot, YOU CAN AFFORD TO TRAVEL! 😉

  • Justin

    I remember listening to Dr. Laura Schlessinger where she was talking about this one state in the South, I cannot remember which one, but I think it started with an "A", was experiencing a larger than normal amount of crib death or SIDS. The authorities didn't know what was causing it, so they announced in the media that they were going to perform autopsy's on every infant that was believed to have died of SIDS to find out why. In short, they were going to treat every SIDS death like a potential homicide. Do you know what happened? Soon after that announcement hit the media, the percentage of dead infants who died of unknown causes dropped by two thirds. What does that tell you?

  • Justin

    Young, poor women get pregnant because they think the baby will love, them and/or their boyfriend will stay with them. What ends up happening is that they have this screaming little thing that only knows how to take, their boyfriend took off long ago and they feel trapped. Their lives revolve around working low-paying and taking care of their kid(s). They know they made a mistake, but unlike fathers, there is a HUGE stigma about mother's giving up their kids. They don't see any way out, so one night, they put a pillow over their sleeping child's face and end it. As horrible as that sounds, it is more common than society talks about.

  • Justin

    I'm not surprised. Raising kids is a lot like going to fight a war: You can train for it, talk to people who have done it, read about it, you can take all the preparations you can think of to prepare for it, but no one knows how they are going to handle it until they're in it and it's too late to back out. Then you just pray that whatever preparations you did make, the support of those around you and a lot of luck keep your mistakes (and you will make them) from being permanent and/or fatal.

    Children learn about parenting from the way they were raised by their parents. If you were not raised by someone who actually cared about how you turned out, then you have a LOT of negative programming to overcome and frankly, most people raised like that don't even try. Most abused children become abusers themselves. If I had my way, anyone convicted of severe abuse or neglect of children, especially their own, should be forcibly sterilized as part of their sentence.

  • Justin

    I had an idea where the government should offer $20,000 for every person regardless of socio-economic background to have their tubes clamped or a vasectomy starting at age 13. If they were underage, then the money could be but in a bank account where they could have access to the interest, though not the principal until they turned 18. If they wanted to have the process reversed, then they would need to pay the government back with no interest. The people who are shortsighted or desperate enough to grab the money first probably shouldn’t be having kids in the first place. This would pay for itself in so many ways. Welfare costs for example. People would not have their lives derailed by an unintended pregnancy and could use the money to pay for college. All the drug addicts would scramble to sign up for it to get the money to use for drugs, then we wouldn’t have so many kids clogging up the foster care system and prisons, where it seems most of them are from parents with substance abuse problems. If it is found that they were illegally tampered with, then they don’t get any benefits whatsoever from the government.

  • Fred

    I'm university educated, lost my job due to the recession, now I'm outta work and except for unemployment benefits, I got no income coming in. I went from $40,000 per year to $0. Savings dried up, bills are piling up daily, hoping I don't go broke. I did a good job with my last employer, but that still didn't save me from a layoff. Hardly went out, lived within my means. But I haven't found another job to replace the one I lost. Can you imagine if there was a Kid or 2 around to support? Bottom line – whether you love Kids or not, matters little. I don't knock it, but it takes money, time and the Whole Nine yards. It's not for the meek nor undercapitalized.

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